Today is Bi Vis­i­bil­i­ty Day; the first since I came out ear­li­er this year. The announce­ment didn’t go well with close fam­i­ly, but that wasn’t a sur­prise 🙄 Unfor­tu­nate­ly, that’s not a unique expe­ri­ence. Bisex­u­al peo­ple are con­stant­ly mar­gin­al­ized and erased.

Many think bisex­u­al­i­ty is just a phase,” a pre­cur­sor to being gay or les­bian, or even worse, a sign that you’re slut­ty or into group sex. While some or all of these might be true with indi­vid­ual peo­ple, these broad gen­er­al­iza­tions are harm­ful and don’t rep­re­sent all bisexuals.

Whether you’re out or not, have a lot of expe­ri­ence or none, hap­py Bi Vis­i­bil­i­ty Day! You are valid. You are bi enough. You belong. You are loved.

Personal

ABC News in Australia Reports on Abuse within Jehovah’s Witnesses organization

As some of you may know, I was raised a Jeho­vah’s Wit­ness. In 2019, I decid­ed to leave this orga­ni­za­tion after find­ing seri­ous abuse cov­er up and com­ing across fac­tu­al infor­ma­tion that dis­proves the reli­gion’s doctrine.

One of the sto­ries this report touch­es on is of a young man that com­mit­ted sui­cide after being dis­fel­low­shipped for being gay. The young man turns out to be a nephew of one of the lead­ers of this orga­ni­za­tion, Stephen Lett. This is an issue that hits par­tic­u­lar­ly close to home since my own com­ing out.

All in all, it’s a scathing report. It reveals the Jeho­vah’s Wit­ness reli­gion (con­trary to what its mem­bers believe) to be a man-made and human-led orga­ni­za­tion with poli­cies and pro­ce­dures that cre­ate a ripe breed­ing ground for all types of abuse.

I’ve nev­er been hap­pi­er to have dis­tanced myself from this tox­ic orga­ni­za­tion. The lead­er­ship’s dog­mat­ic and arro­gant atti­tude has led to the ruin of count­less lives with­out even an apol­o­gy from the orga­ni­za­tion. Although thank­ful­ly, some vic­tims have won cas­es against the orga­ni­za­tion result­ing in a settlement.

Whether you’ve ever been a Jeho­vah’s Wit­ness or not, I rec­om­mend you watch the video.

Music

Listening: MONTERO by Lil Nas X

At this point, I’ve lis­tened to Lil Nas X’s debut album Mon­tero about five or six times all the way through. It’s both con­fi­dent and vul­ner­a­ble, and serves as a fan­tas­tic show­case of his tal­ent and range. It’s a mas­ter­piece of a debut album.

Lil Nas X flows effort­less­ly between gen­res. There’s pop and hip hop as expect­ed, but there’s even some indie rock vibes in there too. And yet, Lil Nas X is per­fect­ly at home in each dif­fer­ent sound.

But this album is so much more than music. It’s a com­ing of age moment. It’s a state­ment about Lil Nas X’s accep­tance and cel­e­bra­tion of him­self. And there­fore, it also feels like an accep­tance and cel­e­bra­tion of being gay for myself too.

I can’t rec­om­mend Mon­tero enough.

My favorites:

  1. MONTERO (Call Me By Your Name)
  2. DEAD RIGHT NOW
  3. INDUSTRY BABY (feat. Jack Harlow)
  4. ONE OF ME (feat. Elton John)
  5. DOLLA SIGN SLIME (feat. Megan Thee Stallion)
  6. VOID

Had such an amaz­ing time at Dis­ney­land and Cal­i­for­nia Adven­ture with Kel­ly. We got the new pass­es so, this is only one of the many times I’m sure we’ll go this year.

Kiana Ledé Under­stands the Messy Plea­sure of Lik­ing Ur Best Friend”

Ledé is no stranger to explor­ing juicy yet con­vo­lut­ed rela­tion­ship dynam­ics in her youth­ful R&B. In 2018, the Los Ange­les-based singer and actor broke out with her first hit, Ex,” a song about get­ting back togeth­er with a past lover that show­cased Ledé’s pow­er­ful, sul­try vocal runs. Last year, she released her debut self-titled stu­dio album, Kiki, a com­ing-of-age project about roman­tic entan­gle­ments and sex­u­al lib­er­a­tion, which solid­i­fied her sta­tus as a con­tem­po­rary R&B star. Now, with Ur Best Friend,” Ledé writes about hav­ing a queer love inter­est for the first time, weav­ing a com­plex tale that shows queer rela­tion­ships can also be nuanced and messy.

Kiana Ledé and Kehlani are two of my favorite singers. Not only are they incred­i­bly tal­ent­ed vocal­ly, but I love to see more queer sto­ries in music. I was excit­ed when I first lis­tened to the song because of the col­lab­o­ra­tion, but this music video just takes it to a whole oth­er lev­el. The sex­u­al ten­sion and chem­istry between them is seduc­tive and provoca­tive. And that neck grab at the end?! 🥵😍

Vice has a new doc­u­men­tary out about the cult I was raised in. In it are details that prove the Jeho­vah’s Wit­ness­es orga­ni­za­tion has a severe child pro­tec­tion prob­lem. There are tens of thou­sands of cas­es that have nev­er been report­ed. The orga­ni­za­tion is also respon­si­ble for the death of peo­ple with their mis­ap­pli­ca­tion of scrip­ture when it comes to blood trans­fu­sions, and those who’ve com­mit­ted sui­cide for being gay, trans, or oth­er­wise shunned.

Read More 

If you’re not watch­ing Loki, you’re miss­ing out on prob­a­bly the best Mar­vel show so far. The music, the char­ac­ter devel­op­ment, Lok­i’s bisex­u­al­i­ty, the larg­er impli­ca­tions of the sto­ry in the Mar­vel Uni­verse. It’s just all so good 🤌🏽

Here we are at the end of Pride Month, and I did­n’t get into half of the gay shit I want­ed to. But that’s ok, I still got my bi/pan rebel alliance tat­too. And you bet­ter believe I’m push­ing the alpha­bet mafia agen­da with this hot-ass pho­to. To my fel­low queers: It’s ok if you haven’t come out yet. I’m hap­py you exist. You are won­der­ful just the way you are. Thank you for the com­mu­ni­ty you’ve pro­vid­ed me with. I love you.

The Porn Cri­sis That Isn’t

A small num­ber of adults—roughly 11 per­cent of men and 3 per­cent of women—con­sid­er them­selves some­what addict­ed to porn, even though a num­ber of sci­en­tists dis­pute whether addic­tion” is an appro­pri­ate label for watch­ing lots of porn. Believ­ing that porn is moral­ly bad” is strong­ly cor­re­lat­ed with feel­ing like you have an addic­tion to pornog­ra­phy, regard­less of how much porn you actu­al­ly watch. The best pre­dic­tor of self-per­ceived sex­u­al-use prob­lems, like pornog­ra­phy addic­tion, is high lev­els of reli­gios­i­ty,” says Bryant Paul, a media pro­fes­sor at Indi­ana Uni­ver­si­ty and a fac­ul­ty affil­i­ate of the Kin­sey Insti­tute, which stud­ies human sexuality.

I grew up in a cult with very strict rules about pornog­ra­phy. I thought porn was harm­ful, dis­gust­ing, and a rab­bit hole that led to sex­u­al devian­cy. What’s fas­ci­nat­ing is that I hard­ly ever watched porn back then, and yet each time I did, it absolute­ly tor­ment­ed me. The guilt. The shame. I thought I had a problem.

Fun­ni­ly enough, porn is now a reg­u­lar part of my sex life, and yet it doesn’t have a detri­men­tal effect in my life or on my partners.

That being said, I think the arti­cle brings up excel­lent points when talk­ing about its access to chil­dren. What I would’ve giv­en to have com­pre­hen­sive sex edu­ca­tion and sex-pos­i­tive con­ver­sa­tions grow­ing up!

Instead of incor­rect­ly label­ing porn a health cri­sis,” I’d love to see bet­ter wages and safer con­di­tions for sex work­ers. We need more inclu­sive sex edu­ca­tion that not only talks about safe­ty, but plea­sure and gay sex as well. Final­ly, par­ents need to embrace sex pos­i­tiv­i­ty. These beliefs that vil­lainize sex are the real thing that caus­es harm in people.

My Sim­ple Advice to Aspir­ing Tech Commentators

This is real­ly niche, I know, but if you are lurk­ing on tech Twit­ter and want to start grow­ing an audi­ence via social media, writ­ing, or video, I have one piece of advice I’d give to every­one: make your con­tent addi­tive, not negative.

I don’t mean to say every­thing you cre­ate needs to be hap­py-go-lucky, but you should try to have your con­tent add to the over­all con­ver­sa­tion. You should be try­ing to make con­tent that gives peo­ple value […]

Such a good reminder! I’m no tech com­men­ta­tor, but shar­ing my opin­ion on things is some­what of a favorite pas­time for me 😜 My per­son­al rule is to talk more about things I love, and talk less about things I don’t.

I start­ed using Spo­ti­fy again recent­ly and wow is it a beau­ti­ful app. I’d for­got­ten how great col­lab­o­ra­tive playlists are, the sug­ges­tions are fan­tas­tic, and don’t even get me start­ed on the sync. I can be play­ing a song on my phone and keep play­ing the song seam­less­ly on my Mac. I do find myself miss­ing Apple Music’s inte­grat­ed lyrics though.

Any­way, fol­low me on Spo­ti­fy if you’d like 😘